All The Motions

It was evening, the last light of the day had cast a rich red sunset over the valley. There was a peace in the house that he hadn't felt since he had returned from rehab. He was sober, more sober than he had been in several months. His head wasn't clear yet, and the world he used to know outside wasn't worth returning to. He couldn't form a thought and words failed him when he tried. His only real comfort was the darkness under the covers at night, when all was still and quiet and no one was making a sound. 

She burst through the door, ever the determined actress, playing a scene as if she was summoned there by the Queen of England for a command performance. She wasn't going to go down without having her feelings heard, and she chose his parent's home as her stage. Her boot heels tapped on the hardwoods as she threw an adorable hissy fit, thrusting hips and snapping neck and pursed lips. Her Disney brown eyes cast her sights on the staircase to the basement. Where he lay swaddled in his covers of darkness and stillness. 

"Ryan. We haven't seen each other or spoken in months. No words from you and you've been back for weeks. What the hell am I supposed to do? Without you..."

He couldn't find words to reply, instead he froze. No energy, no desire, no will to do more than be silent and still. All the words that needed to be spoken were hers to speak. 

"You nearly died, Ryan. Do you know what it would have done to this entire family if you had died? I know you were hurting and that you're still in pain, but that doesn't give you the right to spread that pain around to everyone you love. You've gone and left a long time ago, even though you still continued to go through all the motions. I suppose you've been dead for a year or more, we all just didn't want to admit that you couldn't come back from whatever you were going through. But I know you, the real you. And you can still come back from this. If you want to..."

Still, only stillness and silence. He could not move nor speak. It would have all been for not.

"I cannot live this way, and neither can you. Your children deserve better and so does your family. And so do you. If you don't do something soon, I will. And you will not like the outcome, I can promise you that. You've acted careless and reckless and selfish and now I have to do what I have to do to protect all of us. This hurts too much Ryan. It's all just too, too much..."

She swayed with defiance, hips rocking, arms dancing and fingers expressing. Her voice was beautiful even if her words were not. She was on the edge of a song of tears and laments. She desperately paced around the room, weaving between walls and the bed where he lay. Her hair flipped and flowed as she took precise breaths to express and emphasize the right words at the right moment and pitch, only to paralyzing him all the more.