Master of Dissociation

"I've become a master of dissociation, Doctor Dorothy. If anything triggers in me a deep emotion that I simply cannot deal with, I dissociate. I just simply go numb to it. I check out mentally and ignore all sense of emotion related with the triggering event. It's a defense mechanism. It's the only way I know of to protect my fragile psyche from being damaged more than it can stand to be damaged any further. It may seem cruel, but I don't know how else to cope..."

"I understand Ryan. Dissociation is a mental process that disconnects your thoughts, memory, and sense of identity. Often triggered by trauma or intense stress. You'll feel unreal, detached from yourself and have a blurred sense of identity. You'll check out of reality for a moment. It's exactly as you say, your mind is protecting itself from further trauma. Your mind and spirit are just not built for what you've had to go through, that's all. Trauma, like the kind you've experienced, rewires your brain. And sometimes, there's no undoing that..."