Love Cannot Undo

 When I fell in love with him, I had no idea that I was also entering into a relationship with his entire history, especially the parts that weren’t healed or unacknowledged. 

My love for him wasn’t just about chemistry or compatibility. It was about our nervous systems, our attachment styles and our open wounds. There was an invisible agreement we unconsciously made to keep each other safe in the ways our childhoods did not.

I learned through pain that love cannot undo someone’s unresolved fear of intimacy, abandonment, or unworthiness. No matter how big or open our hearts were. We were still protecting ourselves from the ghosts of our pasts, we were each on the receiving end of our own projections.

So I stopped trying to heal him by offering more of myself. In fact, I stopped trying to heal or fix anyone but myself. Because it wasn't my job, and honestly how dare I insert myself into his karma and life lessons. That was his work, I could only do my own. 

I needed a love rooted in presence, not protection. Where we both could witness each other’s pasts without being trapped inside them. Where we were not at the mercy of each other's unspoken wounds.