Skip to main content

A Night @ The Museum

He was slithering about the event working people up with his words, like a hissing snake in the grass, hustling the room for money, with his new found honey by his side. 

I slunk in the front door in my ruby red revenge shoes, arriving fashionable late with a gorgeously mad woman in her killer dress and a rack that is stacked by my side.

"Let's go start some shit!" She screamed in the parking lot. 

"Oh fuck, his ride is here..." I yelled back.

"Jesus Christ Ryan, who the fuck cares!? Fuck him and the ride he rode in on, and fuck his new creep of a jeep, his new dicked down Joe!"

"You're right sweetie, let's go give them a show!"

Turned out we were all putting on a show that night, with half of the most popular people in town, booked up stuffed shirts throwing money around, all dancing about the floor, making a fuss and sloshing back booze, bidding on local art raising funds for the museum. It promised to be a sloppy night, a sexy and sickening night of disappointments, deep dishes of gossip and greasy groping. 

"Oh my God, Ryan, I just ran right into your ex. He got all up in my face and was all like, 'I hear you are his wife now. I hope you can give it to him up the ass, cuz you know he loves that, right?!' And I was like, 'Oh my God eww and gross get out of my face with that nasty ass grin, you smell like nasty cheesy feet and gin!'"

She cackled her wicked, maniacal signature laugh and went on to say more about the man who once loved me.

"It's funny he called you a faggot tonight, when he's the biggest faggot this little town has ever seen, the bald ass aging queen. That Joe is too good for him, he's probably a micro penis power bottom that has a job as a chef at a semi classy restaurant. He's too pretty and prissy for him, sucked into his lies I see. They won't last long and he'll be back here living with his Mom trying too hard at real estate. I'm glad I'm not fake like that, am I?"

"Yes, you are. You're a fake ass bitch, and you know it!"

"That's why I love you Ryan, you tell me the God damn truth! Now let's go start some more shit!"

"After you my fine lady..."

Later in the evening and far across the room came more juicy smack talk...

"I'm doing my best to stear clear of that dumb ass queer bait homo faggot fudge packer. If I get too close to him I'm gonna smash his pretty little face in, I can't believe he has the gall to show his sexy ass self inside my walls..."


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Shakespeare & Ryan

  Ryan, Carolyn & I were thinking it would be fun for us to have some drinks Thur. night or tonight. You should call me from the payphone. ------> Please call even if it's to say you can't make it. We just think it'd be fun. Luv Always, Amy & Carolyn I love you son! MOM P.S. Shakespeare & Ryan Rule!

Girl Who Deserves A Chance

 Ryan, You asked me once, "Why do people love me?" I'll tell you why... Your energy is what makes people fall in love with you. It's how you make them feel. It is not your body, your money or your looks that make you magnetic. What makes you unforgettable is how you transform the hearts of people around you with your simple presence. That is your energy, that is your power, and that is why people love you. Jessica,     the girl who deserves a chance...

Backstage Stooge

 Dear Ryan,  You're delightful and a real treat to be around, a regular jack who's so down to earth. What you see is what you get with you. No pretenses, no false fronts, no ulterior motives or ill intentions. You're one to say what you're thinking with your eyes, you can never hide behind lies, and your sighs give you away. Although you're an exceptional actor, you shed those roles only to recreate yourself whenever you feel you need to. I suspect you've got some secrets and perhaps you very well could be a demon in disguise. But I seriously doubt the dark side of you isn't just as beautiful as the light side. You're no one's fool and you're fooling no one. You've simply got to walk in any room and your energy speaks for itself. You're one of a kind, and don't tell anyone, but I think my heart might become rather fond of you. Your co-star and backstage stooge, Jonah D.