A Million Things

Ryan,

There are a million things I have said to you in our time as friends. Some important, some less so. But all things said, there are still a million to say. However, our time together has been cut short, thus I fear some unsaid words will remain just that. When I first met you, as I've told you before, I felt a special connection to you. We were truly meant to meet. I have always felt that I can confide in you some of my darkest secrets, as well as babble on about my joyous times. I am honored that you have let me see into your soul.

You have many friends that love you and care about you, and do anything for you. You are very lucky and God has smiled on you. And God smiled on me the day we met. We have not always been close friends, if even friends at all, but we are now and that's what counts. Many of my friends of the past have been friend only to either use me or because they felt obligated to be sometimes. But you have not. When I needed you, you were there as I was, and will always be, for you. You may not know it, but you have many times given me the strength I needed to be myself. And you accepted me when I acted in contrary ways. Sometimes it seemed like you were the only one who understood what I was going through, thus you were the only one who could help me help myself. I'm sure many people have said these types of things to you and I don't see why this one letter would matter when you have so many like it, but I still feel inclined to tell you what is on my mind. You make me feel so special, like I am an individual and that whatever I have to say is unique and compelling. 

And the way you look at me... Your eyes alone can put my wrestling soul at ease. It seems you look at me differently, as say, you would look at Sandi or Amy, or anyone else. When we were alone the night before Eric's birthday, I felt something so special. I can't explain it really, but I couldn't help but cry when you kissed me. I don't know whether it was because I was going to miss you, or if it was because your kiss to me is as sacred as the ring I gave you. What we do late at night is not just something you throw around, and I am honored that you are close enough to me to share that part of you. And all these things are why I love you. Honestly, I can't say I've fallen 'in love' with you, but I do love you, somewhat romantically, somewhat passionately, but mostly as the best friend I've always longed to have. 

To wrap this up, I will miss you dearly and will come to you whenever you call on me. Let us never forget our friendship and may the stench of an old woman's hand bag forever haunt your hair!

Yours Forever, 

Joy