French Toast & Cigarettes

I hate how you won't talk to me. I hate how you go on with your life pretending I don't exist. I hate how I lied to you. I hate how you broke my heart. I hate how I broke yours. I hate how we were never enough for each other. I hate how every day I don't see you seems like it will never end. I hate waking up alone. I hate feeling that I'm all to blame. But I don't hate you. I hate how when every blue Sable drives by, I turn my head. I hate how everyone with blue eyes reminds me of you. I hate how I fiddle my ring when I think of you. I hate how I can't go five minutes without thinking of you. I hate how the smell of french toast and cigarettes remind me of you. I hate how I can't make one single commitment to anyone or anything. I hate thinking of tomorrow. I hate uncertainty. I hate going to Wal-Mart without you. I hate watching movies without you. I hate doing dishes because of you. I hate doing laundry and not mixing it with yours. I hate watching the stars without you. But I don't hate you. I hate how blue the sky is. I hate how the smell of rain reminds me of you. I hate watching all of my favorite TV shows. I hate existing without you. But I don't hate you. I hate how every love song that's on the radio makes me think of you. I hate how girls with blonde hair make me think of you. I hate how the holidays feel so empty without you. I hate how poached eggs and toast make me think of you. I hate how I can't forget about you. I hate how everyone I know asks me about you. I hate how I still get dressed for you. I hate how I still jump up when a car pulls up at my house. I hate how the telephone rings and I never answer it. I hate poetry because I think about you. I hate dandelions. I hate purple flowers. I hate green grass. I hate Dr. Pepper. I hate department stores. I hate Arby's. I hate frozen yogurt. I hate Italian Sodas. But I don't hate you. I hate birds. I hate vacuuming. I hate dusting. I hate quarters. I hate Barney. I hate Val Kilmer, Antonio Banderas and Sean Connery. I hate April and Mid-October. I hate Sinclair. I hate writing checks. I hate May 3rd, or was it the 4th? I hate Dorothy. I hate the Scarecrow, the Tinman and the Cowardly Lion. But I don't hate you.