A Simple Thought

Ryan sat down for another session with his addiction counselor, reluctant to share anything much with the woman who had half way fallen asleep during their last session. After he had shared personal things, and shed tears. Why would she actually listen now? This rehab was bullshit! And his parents had paid entirely too much for him to be somewhere he didn't care to be in the first place.

"Ryan, let's talk about your love life. You shared with me last time that you were married before. She was your first wife, correct?"

"Yes, but that shouldn't matter now. We aren't here to talk about my past. We're here to talk about my addiction and how to get me sober again."

"Most addictions are linked to the losses you've experienced in your life. Or the places in your life that can't be filled. So, the loss of your first wife could have something to do with your addictive tendencies. Could that be true?"

"I don't think so..."

"Maybe you should think more about that. Addicts use drugs to replace people who they have lost. And you could lose more people in your life if you continue to abuse drugs."

"This sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me! Can we talk about something else please?"

"If you had to choose a short life with a lot of love in it, or a very long life with no one left to love, which would you choose?"

"I suppose I'd prefer the short life with a lot of love in it, of course..."

"Well, you could have a longer life with more love in it if you get clean. From what I can see within you, there's more love to be had in your life. And I understand you prefer men. I believe you'll find that. It would be a shame to let your addictions rob you of that future, Ryan."

Just when he had decided that she didn't know anything at all, or that she wasn't listening, or that she didn't care in the least about him, she had to say something like that. She knew him much better than he thought she did.

Perhaps there was more to this addiction recovery counseling than he thought.

He had already had a life filled with love, by three extraordinary women. Yet he wanted more. He wanted to be loved by a man, and perhaps more than one man. And if he chose to get sober, and stay that way, perhaps he would find that love. This simple thought had given him hope that someday he would find a man to love, and a man to love him.