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Don't Look Outside

She sat across from me, only a table between us. A Native American woman I had just met, one who had a gift of looking into one's eyes and understanding them very deeply. She looked into my eyes for the longest time, telling me not to look away if I could help it. I felt exposed, raw and vulnerable, nearly bursting into tears. I had had a very tumultuous few months, where I was emotionally out of control, self destructive and dangerous, to myself and others.

When she had peered into my eyes for what felt like an eternity, she had so very much to say.

"You've been through so much for one so young. Although young, your soul is ancient, and you are eternal. What you're going through, all the pain, is for your ultimate good. You look to others to reflect back to you love. You depend on this love to feel of value, to feel whole. You need to be loved, although you'll rarely find the love you're looking for in this life. Although you'll be loved by many, you'll truly be deeply loved and valued by few. Don't look outside yourself for the love you need, for you'll only find it inside yourself. The love you ultimately crave is the love you can only give yourself. Once you find that, you'll find the love you need from others."

I cried for an hour afterwards, speechless, that she could look into my eyes and reveal so much, without knowing me at all.

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