gayNwyo

Thank you again for a wonderful afternoon and evening. Lunch was delicious. You were delicious. The sandwich was delicious. It was all delicious! Goodnight sweet man! 

We luff you, we honestly luff you! We luff you RyRy, Moo Moo & Katie 

I would toss my hair, as it got in my face, as I sat at my desk, quietly in the classroom where fellow students would glance at me from time to time. One handsome boy would look at me every once in awhile. He would smile. And so would I. Then one day, that boy tossed his hair my way, with a glance and a sigh, as if to say, "here I am and so am I..."

He was a black hole of hellish pity and selfishness. He was unaware that everything and everyone around him was immediately drawn to him. Yet by being drawn into him, they would ultimately be consumed and destroyed by him.

"There was something about you, Ryan, I could see it from the very beginning..." "What was it, exactly??" "It was the way you turned your head, it was magical and had me curious as to who you were..."

"Ryan, would you say you're a good witch or a bad witch...??" "I would have to say I'm neither. I ride the broom of in-between, I'm a witch on the edge. The edge of good and bad. I'd like to say I'm a good witch, but that would be a lie..."

There's a Father Figure, A Father Figure. Upstairs tonight, Stomping around in his boots, His boots of power. His powerful boots, The boots of a Father. A Father Figure, With his boots of power. 

"Ryan, why are you so close to me, what are you doing? Are you trying to torture me?!?" "No, silly boy, seems to me you're tortured enough already, why would I do that to you?!?" "How do you know I don't like to be tortured? You should try me sometime..."

"I've loved the land of Oz ever since I can remember. It's a far away place that I've visited only in my dreams, yet I know it exists. It's a place where the driving force is that adults don't deliver what they've promised. It's a place where children have to take control of their own lives and grow up for themselves, facing themselves in every character along the way. Facing every villain, too, loving them all along the way..."

"You're delicate material, Ryan." "True that, true that! Never met a match for this delicate material. Seems everyone wants to play rough and tough..." "Fuck that stuff. You deserve better..." "Yes I do."

It's a quarter to seven, I know I'm awake, but a dream keeps me thinking about you for heaven's sake. Is this real? I hope so because your friendship has me smiling.

"Some may say that this is no world for you, and you should stay in your own corner of your little life. I say there may well be others like you in the world yet, and it’s time to go find them."

"I absolutely know that if he had me alone and he knew he'd get away with it, he would kill me. There's no doubt in my mind. That's how well I knew him."

"What time is it Ryan?" "It's only ever right now. Time doesn't exist. We are fools who check watches and clocks. All time exists all the time, we're all just tethered to silly, stupid moments. Souls trapped in time. Souls unlimited by time."

"Do you know what it's like to die?!" "No..." "Well, I do. I was there. I had died. I was on the other side. I was in a blissful state of total awareness and peace." "So what happened? Why are you here now, you obviously lived??" "I had a choice. I could have stayed. I rather would have. But I knew I needed to come back..." "Why...?!" "To tell my story."

He must have recognized me from somewhere but I wasn't familiar with him. He wore dark tinted glasses so I couldn't read his eyes. His hands were rough and dirty. "So I keep expecting your buddy to drive up in a Mercedes Benz. He's been killing it so well in real estate..." "Oh, no, he's not my buddy, not anymore..." "Oh really?! I thought you might say that. Word around here is that you ran him out of town." "Yeah. I suppose this town wasn't big enough for the both of us..." "My impression of him was that he was a small man. But you, sir, I can see are the bigger man."

To My Ry-Ry You are so beautiful to me, can't you see! You're everything I hoped for, you're everything I need! You are so beautiful to me!!  I LUFF YOU! - Katie K. -

Follow The Arrows and Await Further Instructions Further Instructions STOP!! > Take off socks and shoes (if you haven't done so.) > Take off shirt > Take off pants > Leave on undies (that's my job) > Place clothes in a neat pile & leave outside the door. > Go to the bathroom if you must, then proceed to the bed. > Wait for further instructions. 

"My God, Ryan. You're a silver tongue writer. I've read all that you have wrote and you should silver that writer's tongue some more tonight, come what may..."  

"He was deceptive in the very beginning. He lied and deluded, put up a false front, a mask and borrowed splendor, playing a role for himself and everyone else. In short, a continuous fluttering around the solitary flame of vanity."

"I always wanted a perfect road to walk down." "Ryan, a perfect road would never teach you anything at all. Perfect roads are an illusion."

12-30-07 Light the candles and wake me when you are ready! XOXO ~ Your Wife

"You're an amazing actor, Ryan. Don't you want to get out of this good for nothing small shit town and make something of yourself?" "I'm happy where I'm at, this is enough for me. I've played the parts I've been meant to play and I'm sure I'll go on to play many more..." "Well, if you ask me, you're a big fish in a little pond and you really should consider swimming on to larger waters..." "If the tides should shift and drift me that way, I'd be happy to flow, but I'm satisfied with the still waters that surround me now..."

hey grumpy butt! I tried to say goodbye, but you just growled at me! I love you and hope you have a good day. XOXO ~ Kitty P.S. Ethan is sick so I will be home around 11:30-2:15 Luv you!

"We're just too different, Ryan. We have different world views. All I can think about is the future, and I'm not too sure I see a place for us in that future. I need to be single to figure things out."

"Don't you feel like a deadbeat dad, Ryan, being so cut off, closed off and so far away from the children you love??" "No. I was cut off by my wife, closed off and far away from her and them. She made a choice when she took them away from me. How can love exist when a distance is so great? I've had to disassociate, for my own sanity..."

I am home. Missing you already. Thank you for an incredible day. You are a true gentle man.  I'm gonna miss you, too. Today was very, very special. I didn't even need a climax with you to be totally satisfied. Intimacy has a different meaning to me now. You are the true gentle man. I feel the same on climax, but mister you had me over the top so many times. What you do to me! I love that I can do that to you. It gets me hot knowing that I take you over the top. I cannot wait to get more of you!!

It's a mellow, melancholy kind of Monday. Gloomy and cold outside, but work friends cheer me up. Yet a new man in my life makes my heart warm and happy. 

Merry Christmas Love! I wish I could give you everything you could ever want, but I hope a couple gifts and ALL my love will be sufficient for now. I am eternally grateful that I am lucky enough to be your wife. I was told in my patriarchal blessing that I could choose a husband who would take me to the temple to be sealed. I could not have made a better choice! You do so many wonderful things for me all the time! I know one day (hopefully soon) you will be an amazing father! I admire you for the love you have and give to others. You have the ability to make people feel loved with even the smallest conversation. You have so many gifts and attributes that make me love you a little more every day! I never knew it was possible to love as strongly as I do for you! You are the greatest gift I have ever been given, and I will love you forever! XOXO  Eternally Yours, Katie Jean Jevne

After we'd caught our breath from the chase he had led me on through the park and then the woods, we stretched our arms back under our heads as we laid back together to gaze up at the star lit night sky. It was dark, but not so dark that I couldn't make out his soft features, and his eyes as they danced, glancing away when the heat between us became too much. There was so much to be said, but we both remained silent. More than anything, it was the way it felt between us, nothing really needed to be said, the feelings we had for each other spoke through the silence and soft, evening air. "I love the sting of the night air in my lungs, it burns so good. I love that feeling, it makes me feel alive." He inhaled deeply and let out a moan that edged on orgasmic. My eyes closed and rolled back in my head. "Yeah, I know the feeling, it's very nice. I almost lost you around that last corner in the park, you are wicked fast. Like a sprite in the night, so, so fast......

Ryan, There wasn't a time when I didn't love you. Even in the dark times when you sank my heart deep in grief. It was in those times that I truly realized what love was.

Ryan, I was thinking of you. Not in any sort of obsessive way. I just have fond memories of you. I will be in Worland part-time, but we might never see each other. Baby, I wanted you to know how sorry I am about clinging to you so badly that you sprinted away. That still saddens and embarrasses me! I was going through THE singular darkest time in my life, Ryan! You welcomed me into your home and life and were so sweet, so kind. So compassionate. So smart. I sure would do things differently, Ryan. The saddest and most embarrassing thing is that I might have frightened you. I hope not. Take care, sweet, special man.

"Why are you so careless, why are you so reckless? Why have you given up on so many things Ryan?!" "Why does the devil may care?! Mind your own business..."

Hi Handsome! I just wanted to tell you how totally amazing I think you are! You are my inspiration and my strength! Everyday I realize that I love you more than I ever thought was even possible! I love how we have grown together in the past nine months and I honestly can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you! You are my soulmate and the love of my life! Love, Your Little Wife I LOVE YOU RYAN!

Mr. Jevne - you are fired :( p.s. come by if it's not too late for you. 

"I'm going to tell you some things, Ryan. The human heart isn't designed to love just one person forever and for all eternity. Love doesn't work like that. You find yourself trapped inside a religious ideology that only leads to loneliness and isolation. Live and love as many hearts as you can find, and let those hearts love you, too. So far you've loved some beautiful hearts, both male and female. There's more love left inside your heart to give, I can see that. Let that love find more hearts to love. Life is too short to waste your time letting ignorance stand in the way of letting a heart as great as yours love again."

Ryan, You think all I need is sex, but it's not always about sex. I want intimacy, to be touched, looked at and admired. To feel safe with someone, someone just like you. That's what I crave with you. Let me have that. Tom

Ryan, To that handsome lover that I am lucky enough to call My HUSBAND! ~ I am sad that I didn't get to see you again before I left for work. :( I hope that everything went well and that you liked the place. Either way... We should get naked tonight! (That whipped cream needs to be used up!) He He He... I love you and I wish you were here for a quickie before work! As it is, after work will do! Think of me all day and I will think of you! Here is something sweet while you wait! XOXOXO I Love You Katie Jevne 

Hey My incredibly handsome husband! When you go out, don't forget to get these things: cake camera candles - white please :) and always Remember that I love you and you are the most amazing man! I love your spirit, I love your eyes, I love your smile, & you know what else I love! *wink* *wink* but we'll go into that much deeper later! :)  Love, your little Wife!

"He said he needed to get out, to leave. To get away from his family, his father mostly. He saw an opportunity, so he took it. He saw something in Joe. Money probably. I can only see him leaving everything behind for one thing, and one thing only. Money..." "I believe that. Money meant more than anything to him..."

I'm still riding a high from being with you yesterday. It meant so much to me. ❤️  Likewise. When you haven't had someone to hold and talk with for as long as I have, you forget what it does to your heart and mind. Thank you for letting me be a little part of your life. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I always wanted to tell my father that I could see things that others could not. As if I was dreaming while I was awake. I was told to keep that to myself and that little boys should never see things like that.

I didn't die, but something was strange,  I lost a piece of me, a piece estranged. Walking away, never the same, A soul shadowed by a silent flame. That time took who I was, Searching without cause. I went on feeling a void, Heart once full, now destroyed.  It wasn't the end of me, I'm not whole, Echoes remain, There in my soul. I breathe, I'm here, A truth denied. Parts of me quietly died, Died that day. 

"Aren't you scared Ryan? Aren't you terrified?? Aren't you horrified that they'll come after you for what you are??? What's to stop the Trump Train from coming after you and branding you a faggot and taking you off to a concentration camp and exterminating you?!?! You do realize that that's what this country is coming to, don't you?" "I'm not afraid. I am what I am, and if they come after me, I've got a plan. I'll take myself out long before they get to me. Trust me on that. Hate is alive and well in this country, and I trust that love will save me in the end. Even if that means that the love I have for myself is the only thing that will save me."

"It's fine to be where you are right now, Ryan. There's a messy middle, a place between where you can transition. You haven't arrived, but you've moved on. The pieces of the puzzle don't quite fit yet, but you left behind the pieces you didn't need. You'll have to wait in the mess and uncertainty of all that. Everything will move slow when you'll want to rush it. You'll wonder if you will get what you want and where you will go. Where you are is perfect. The mess of being in the middle is where doors will open and close. This mess of a place is where things unravel and can be put together again. Just be where you are and trust that. Take pause in the season and breath. Love yourself, you are precisely where you need to be."

We were fresh and young and ever so much in love, the kind of love we thought would last forever, through eternity and beyond.  Our eternal names were Emma & Rueben. Time would test eternity. And Emma found Rueben untrue for eternity. So Emma let Rueben go, let him go to find an eternity that she could never know.

"Don't be afraid to die my dear boy, for death is nothing to fear. For beyond death there is nothing but freedom from fear." "Then death must be immaculate, for nothing could be better than freedom from fear."

I don't know why I'm writing this. I've stopped doing this world any real good a long time ago.  Once more into the fight, into the last real war I'll ever know. I can either choose to live or die on this day.  Today I'll choose to fight and choose to live. Tomorrow may be another choice, another fight, another war, another day.

The day is waining and the darkness of night came early.  This is the beginning of fall, surely. As nights get longer and daylight becomes less, the urge to snuggle with a good friend is my quest. So don't be surprised at a knock at your door, you may find an older man who wants your warmth... and maybe a little more.

They gathered around to lay their freshly dead father to rest. A father that had failed at being a father from the beginning.  A failure of a father, laid to rest, at last.